193. Push Through or Pivot? Making Smarter Decisions About Your Weight Loss Goals

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Not every hard season means you should quit. But not every goal deserves endless effort either.

So how do you know when you're in a tough stretch that's worth pushing through... and when it might actually be time to change course?

That frustrating middle is what Seth Godin calls "the dip": the point where progress slows, motivation wobbles, and you start wondering whether you're doing the right thing at all.

The good news? You don't have to rely on willpower, guilt, or endless second-guessing. 

Today, I'm sharing a simple framework for knowing when to push through, when to adjust, and when it may be time to let a goal go.

Why the Dip Isn't a Sign You've Failed

The dip is the difficult stretch between starting something new and becoming good at it. We've all been there, whether it's a new exercise routine, a change in how we eat, or trying to maintain progress we've worked hard for.

We tend to treat a tough stretch like a warning sign. But when the dip hits, don't assume you've failed. Instead, try saying, "Thank you. This is the hard part."

Struggling doesn't mean you picked the wrong goal. Usually, it means you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Four Questions to Ask Yourself in the Dip

When you’re in that messy middle, there are four questions that can help you step back and look at the situation more clearly:

• Have other people successfully made it through this dip?
• What does it usually cost to get through?
• Do I have the resources required to continue?
• Does the current evidence suggest this can still work? 

That first question helps you figure out whether the goal itself is realistic.

Think of organic chemistry in medical school. It may be miserable, but plenty of people have made it through and gone on to become doctors. The difficulty alone doesn’t mean the path is impossible. 

But “possible” is only part of the equation.

Because even if other people have made it through, you still have to ask what getting there would require from you.

Your Resources Are Real

This is the part we often skip.

We assume that if we want something badly enough, we should somehow be able to make it happen.

But even when a goal is completely possible, that doesn’t mean everyone has the same resources available to reach it.

Your reality matters.

Time: Getting through the dip might require more exercise, more meal prep, more appointments, or simply more attention. If your schedule is already packed, that matters.

Energy: We don’t all have the same energy bank. My husband jokes that I run on a “Rentea battery.” I simply cannot go nonstop. When I push too far, I get headaches and feel awful. Knowing your capacity isn’t weakness. It’s useful information.

Money: Most of us have financial limits. Sometimes the healthiest response isn’t getting frustrated about what you can’t afford. It’s simply saying, Okay, this is the limit I’m working with.

Support: The amount of support around you matters too. Having someone at home who is encouraging you, or someone who actively makes things harder, can completely change what’s realistic. 

Once you get honest about those resources, the next step often becomes much clearer.

And then there’s one more piece: what does the evidence say?

Sometimes we’re pushing harder and harder toward something that simply may not be realistic for our body. That’s where involving your medical team matters because more effort is not always the answer. 

Losing More Weight Isn’t Always the “Noble” Choice

This comes up all the time with the last five or ten pounds.

Maybe losing that weight is physically reasonable. But at that point, getting there may require increasingly small changes: skipping the extra bite, passing on dessert, tightening things up a little more at every turn.

And that leads to a different question:

Do you actually want that life?

Maybe the answer is yes. Your relationship with food might have changed and those choices don’t feel difficult or restrictive anymore.

But maybe food still has a social or emotional role in your life, and you don’t want to live in a world where every little bite has to be negotiated.

There’s no morally superior answer here.

We often assume that weighing less, eating less, or cutting out more must automatically be the “better” choice. But that isn’t necessarily true.

You get to decide what trade-offs are worth making for you. 

And this idea goes far beyond weight.

How I Use a Go/No-Go List

I’ve had to learn the same lesson in my own life.

A while back, I created what I call a go/no-go list because I had a habit of impulsively saying yes to things... and then realizing later that I didn’t actually have the bandwidth for them.

So now, before making certain decisions, I give myself 24 hours and run through a few questions:

• Do I have the energy to do this?
• Does it energize me?
• Does it impact my community? 

I’m not trying to optimize every decision or make sure I’m happy all the time.

For me, it’s about building enough trust with myself that I know I can make decisions without constantly overriding my own limits.

I want to know that I can get myself back to a calm place when I need to. 

So that's really what this all comes back to. The dip is normal, and hard doesn't automatically mean wrong. But you also don't have to keep pushing just because you've already started.

Next time you hit a rough patch, take a step back and look at what the goal is actually asking of you. Think about your time, your energy, your budget, the support you have, and what your body (and your medical team) are telling you. 

Maybe the answer is to keep going. Maybe it's to tweak the plan a bit. Or maybe it's realizing this particular goal just isn't worth the cost right now, and that's okay too. Any of those can be the right call when you've thought it through.

Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to the complete episode for more on the dip, my go/no-go list, and how to make decisions that feel calm instead of guilt-driven.

Ready to start your next chapter? Join The Next Chapter, my new small-group January program to help you set a goal and actually make it happen. Spots are limited and registration closes October 30. Click here to save your spot.

TRANSCRIPT:

Disclaimer: The transcript below is provided for your convenience and may contain typos, errors, or grammatical inconsistencies, as it has not been professionally edited or proofread. Please enjoy it as-is and read at your own discretion.

Please note: The content shared in this podcast and blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalized medical guidance.  

 Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. How are you all doing? Friends, I have to confess, I know I said I would start to have video with the podcast. I, I just can't do it all the time. I speak so differently when I'm here flailing my arms around. I feel like I'm talking right to you. Something changes sometimes when there's a screen recording you. It just feels different. So, here I am talking into my little mic, feeling like I'm speaking to you, and there won't always be a video. I... It was, it was a great thought, but I'm pivoting 'cause I don't like it. So, we're at this time of year when, at the time when I'm recording this, it's toward the end of September. My latest 3030 round has started and it is just such a nice group, and it always reminds me the power of community, how incredible it is to hear what other people are trying, to hear their questions, to hear their thought process. Everyone that finds me in my community, they are just absolutely incredible people. So if you're listening and you're part of that, I'm incredibly grateful for you, and also for everyone else listening. I have been thinking about, I think I've spoken about it, what's gonna come for next year. And I had run the 3030 program several times over the past few years, and I still love that program. I love the format. I love what we go over weekly. But I really wanna try a little bit of something different. I want much more of an experiential program in the sense of I want people to set a goal in January for that half year, so it's gonna be a five-month program. And I want to guide people through how can we actually make this happen. So in January, can we do a bunch of decluttering? Because you can't create new things when there's a bunch of old stuff clogging things up, how can we just really declutter things? How can we start to work on these habits but really understand them? I wanna do the James Clear, the Atomic Habits, that workbook. I wanna do that together. I wanna do a workshop where when I went to Seattle, one of the women ran a junk journaling session, and it was so inspirational for making a spread for the future you and what you wanna accomplish. And I want my people that are in the program to have all the materials, and they have it on hand, and they don't have to go search things down. They don't have to go find a book here, supplies there. All of it's with them. And they can work on these things slowly, bit by bit, guided in a group, getting all the support, but not be watching videos and feel like it's another thing you have to do. I just want this to be a really different experience. So that program, it's called The Next Chapter. It's starting in January, and I'm freaking pumped about it. It is so different. In addition to us really working on your goals and it being, uh, very valuable in that sense, it's also, there's a lot of fun things that are happening in there. And honestly, it's the things I'm into, and I just find that's what I'm gravitating toward, that to be able to do these big things in life, there has to be that other aspect of play and fun and creativity. That has to come out. Otherwise, I find it really hard for people to just stay in the intellectual lane when they're doing things. So if you're interested in that, the reason I bring this up, I know it's, it sounds early, but we are registering... I am registering for that, and I need the final headcount for that by, drum roll, October thirtieth. So if that's something that you're thinking about, you're interested in, now would be the time to sign up for it, we can't take later registrations because there will be a final number. Of course, I'm limiting the spots because it's a small group, and I need that final headcount because we're gonna be getting those packages together that have the material for each month. It's gonna be super amazing, and we need a final count on that. We can't kinda have that up in the air. So I'm super excited about that. If, if that's something you're interested in, the link will have it down below. You can go to rentiaclinic.com/thenextchapter. Pretty self-explanatory. And because it's a new program, I'll make sure to do a Q&A in the next few weeks at some point, 'cause I know people are gonna have a lot of questions. All right. I wanna talk today about this concept called the dip. This comes out of the new book. It's called "The Knot" by Seth Godin. Now, don't go reading it. It's a marketing book. I don't think that's gonna be helpful for you. But he recently did this really long interview, it's two hours, on a diary of a CEO, and he has just so many gems in there. But I wanna just come to one concept that he talks about, which is the dip. He defines the dip as the difficult stretch between starting something new and becoming good at it. And when the dip appears, instead of being like, "Oh my gosh, something's gone wrong, I can't do this," you say, "Thank you. This is the hard part." That it's amazing that you've arrived there, that it doesn't automatically mean that the goal is wrong. This is actually part of the process. Now, okay, we've all heard of this, we've all experienced it, but here's the real gold. How do you know when this dip occurs, what is delusional, you should stop, you should quit, that is appropriate, versus when you have to push through further? Here is the question and the logic that he went through, and I think this is gold. Today's gonna be a shorter episode, but this is gold. If you want this all written out, go to rentiaclinic.com/blog and we'll have all these questions written out so you can come back and reference them. You ask yourself at that period, have other people successfully made it through this dip? He gives the example in medical school, organic chemistry, it's wretched, but people, yes, they've made it through and they've become clinicians on the other side. Got it. But then if you take someone, for example, with end-stage emphysema and they're still smoking, that can lead to life expectancy decreasing and not a great outcome compared to stopping smoking. So it would be worth the effort to stop smoking at that point. So that's just an example of the decision tree. But when you say, have other people successfully made it through this dip, that's a great question, but how can you further clarify this? Then you get to ask practically, what does it usually cost in time, energy, money, or support to make it through? And then you think, do I have the resources required to continue? Does the current evidence suggest that this can still work? I think this is incredibly helpful when you're thinking about what is possible for your body, for different habits that you wanna achieve, if you're in maintenance, whether it's reasonable to keep going or to stop. Of course, I'm always gonna say involve your medical team, because I find often people are wanting to achieve things that literally, physically are not possible for their body. Like they literally couldn't have zero fat and continue, a lot of the time there is this rough stretch that occurs, and sometimes there's no right or wrong answer, if you ask this question, have others made it through it? Yes, they have. Okay, great. But then when you think about it, maybe you don't have the time required to do a bunch more exercise or to be able to fit in all the things that you would need to do. Maybe you don't have the energy. There is a reality to this. We don't all have the same energy bank. My husband always, always jokes that I have a Rentea battery. Like I just cannot be doing stuff twenty-four/seven. I get headaches somatically within my body. I feel wretched. I, I don't have it in me to just endlessly do stuff. Sometimes financially there are constraints. In fact, for most of us, there are financial constraints, and instead of railing against that, "Ah, I can't do this or that," sometimes just saying, "Okay, that's the limit, that, you know, that's where it ends." Support, we don't all have the same level of support. I sometimes think about, wow, people that are in my program, I feel like the support is really good potentially for people in there for what they're wanting to achieve, and not everybody will be able to join a program of mine, and I hear that, right? That's why I do something like this podcast. But there are realities to this. The support you're getting, maybe you have someone that's not supportive at home or maybe you have someone like me where this person really is supportive. These all make a difference if you can make it through it or not. And I bring this up because if you ask yourself these questions, I think it can become more clear to you in certain circumstances whether you want to continue down that certain path or not. And oftentimes where I'll get to, I might have someone that they have five, 10 more pounds they wanna lose, and it might be reasonable based on their body composition. But we have this talk and I say, "Look, it is the smallest changes ever at this point that are gonna get you over that metaphorical finish line. And are you wanting at this point to not have the snack with dessert? You don't have that extra bite. You don't do this. You don't do that." Like it's this level of cleaning things up. Do you want that life? By the way, if our mindset's in the right spot, we're like, "Yeah, it's no problem. I can do these things. I now don't view food in the same way," and we could go on and on within that vein. But there's another aspect where you say, "No, food has a social, emotional aspect for me. I don't want a world where I never have a bite of this or that." There's no wrong answer, but you get to decide. And everyone always assumes that the version where there is more things that are cut out... I don't like using the word restriction because it's all about a mindset of how we're thinking about things, but everyone always assumes that you getting to a lighter weight and you cutting out more things, that that's always the noble way. I don't think so. I don't think that it leads to the best things for everyone. And so if you have this framework, I think it would be really helpful for you to think through what your next steps could be. So if this is helpful for you, always remember rentiaclinic.com/blog. We have show notes for each episode. We have everything that I talk about. It is written out. These questions will all be there. I think that it's helpful to ask yourself when times are hard, have others made it through? Do I have the energy for this? The capacity? I don't know if you all remember if you've listened to all the episodes leading up to this. Gosh, over a year ago at this point, maybe two years ago, I did a business conference, and part of what we created for me was a go, no-go list. Before I made a decision 24 hours before... Let me see if I can actually pull this up. I had to ask myself some decisions to make sure that I would make the right choice for things, because I was impulsively saying yes to things, and then I wouldn't have the bandwidth for it, and then later it would crack me as far as how I was feeling and the things I could do, 'cause I had over-committed myself let's see if I can find this, the go, no-go list. This is happening live, people okay. The go, no go list. Wait 24 hours to take an action. I need to have clean intention, and here's some of what went on, and I'm not gonna go through everything, but do I have the energy to do it? Notice that's one of the things that he was talking about. Does it energize me? Does it impact my community? That's actually a big factor in when I think about obesity advocacy and people being part of a community that is safe and supportive. I definitely think about that. And there are more that are on that list. But just the fact that the result really for me is that I want to build a relationship with mysel-self where I have trust and I feel calm. I'm not trying to be happy all the time but I do think it's possible to trust myself and to cultivate within myself that I can get to a calm place if I want to. And so going through that go, no-go list is part of it. So really, all roads lead to Rome, and I feel sometimes when you hear it in a different way, you can maybe take it in. If there's maybe something today that really resonates with you, write a question down in your planner. Put it next week at the top of the weekly spread that you can ask yourself, have others made it through this before? And then again, if you are wanting to do that January program, I'll have the information for that in the show notes down below. I hope you have an amazing rest of the week, and we'll talk soon.