192. How to Start Strength Training at Any Age with Elaine

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Elaine is 76, works out twice a week…and still hates exercise. So why does she never want to miss a session?

For Elaine, the biggest change wasn’t suddenly becoming someone who loves working out. It was changing what she wanted from exercise. After years of focusing on her weight and appearance, she began focusing on something very different: getting stronger.

From discovering she had lipedema to undergoing knee replacements and eventually finding a form of strength training she could stick with, Elaine’s experience is a reminder that movement doesn’t have to be about burning calories or changing how your body looks. Sometimes, it’s about feeling steadier, more capable, and more independent in everyday life.

Exercise always felt like a chore

Elaine is very clear about one thing: she has never been an exercise person.

She had tried gyms, water aerobics, and exercise classes before. Her intentions were good, but nothing really stuck. She didn’t see enough progress to make her want to keep coming back.

Then, in her mid-70s, she tried something different: 20-minute strength-training sessions with a trainer, twice a week.

At first, she went because she had made the commitment (and, as she jokes, because she was paying for it). For the first few months, she felt like she was mostly going through the motions. But gradually, she started noticing changes. She could see herself getting stronger, and that progress gave her a reason to return.

She still moans and groans, and she still doesn’t particularly enjoy sweating. But she doesn’t want to miss a workout.

That distinction is key: you don’t necessarily have to enjoy exercise itself to value what it does for your life.

From wanting to look different to wanting to feel strong

For much of her life, Elaine’s motivation to exercise was tied to appearance.

She had always carried more weight in her lower body and spent years believing she simply wasn’t doing enough. Eventually, during COVID, a chance meeting with a neighbor led her to learn about lipedema. A specialist later confirmed her diagnosis.

That knowledge changed the way she thought about her body. But getting older also changed what she wanted from movement.

As Elaine puts it, she used to exercise because she wanted to look “cute.” Now, she cares much more about being strong and healthy. The number on the scale may not always be what she wants to see, but it no longer tells the whole story. She knows she has built a stronger body underneath it.

That shift from “How does my body look?” to “What can my body do?” can completely change the role exercise plays in our lives.

Strength shows up in everyday life

The progress Elaine values most isn’t necessarily something you’d see in a before-and-after photo.

It’s being able to walk up a curb without needing to hold onto something. It’s feeling more balanced and stable. It’s being able to get down on the floor and get herself back up again.

After struggling with painful knees and eventually having knee replacement surgery, those everyday abilities mean a lot to her.

Today, getting stronger means:

• feeling steadier on her feet
• moving with less dependence on other people
• being able to get up from the floor
• feeling more confident in what her body can handle
• continuing to do the things she wants to do as she gets older

For Elaine, that is the payoff. As she told me:

“I like the independence that being stronger has given me.”

Find the version that actually works for you

One of the most useful parts of Elaine’s story is that she didn’t magically develop more willpower.

Instead, she found a setup that suited her.

She knows that if she simply joined a gym and told herself to go regularly, she probably wouldn’t. Having an appointment gives her structure and having a trainer provides accountability and encouragement. Seeing her progress gives her motivation to continue.

Plus, exercising for 20 minutes feels manageable.

Her experience also shows how personal consistency can be. What keeps one person going might do absolutely nothing for someone else. For Elaine, several things came together:

• A realistic time commitment. Twenty minutes feels doable.
• Accountability. Someone expects her to show up.
• Visible progress. She can see how her strength is improving.
• Support. Her trainers work with her rather than expecting her to suddenly love exercise.
• A reason that matters to her. She wants to stay strong and independent.

Rather than asking, “Why can’t I make myself exercise?” it may be more useful to ask, “What would make movement easier for me to keep doing?”

You can start where you are

There’s another part of Elaine’s story that feels especially important: she started this chapter in her 70s.

She talks openly about the things she wishes she had done earlier, but she doesn’t use that as a reason to give up now. Instead, she’s focused on what getting stronger can give her in the years ahead.

“If I live another 10 years, they’ll be healthier years,” she says. And her intention is simple: keep working out for as long as she physically can.

You don’t have to become a person who adores the gym. And you certainly don’t need to wait until you feel motivated enough, fit enough, or confident enough.

You can dislike the workout and still love feeling stronger afterward.

And for Elaine, that’s enough reason to keep showing up.

Want to hear Elaine tell the full story? Listen to the full episode, where we talk about lipedema, knee replacements, finding a strength routine that finally stuck, and why you don’t have to love exercise to love what getting stronger gives you.

TRANSCRIPT:

Disclaimer: The transcript below is provided for your convenience and may contain typos, errors, or grammatical inconsistencies, as it has not been professionally edited or proofread. Please enjoy it as-is and read at your own discretion.

Please note: The content shared in this podcast and blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalized medical guidance.    

 Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's conversation really isn't about a number on the scale. It's about what can happen when we stop seeing movement as punishment, and we begin to experience it in a way that maybe helps build strength or confidence or helps with living a different life. Today, I am so incredibly honored to have Elaine come in. She's an incredible woman, has so many talents. Let me say that she's 76 years old, and I bring this up because I am so incredibly inspired by how she has taken her movement journey. From knowing you, I said, "Hey, can you come on the podcast?" Because I think it's actually really inspirational, your story. Can you start out with just telling us a little bit about you and maybe your health journey up to now, if you'd be willing to share that? Sure. It's funny finding a, a jumping off point, but I was always heavy. You know, I never had an ankle. I always had little tree trunk legs. And it was just always uncomfortable because I was bigger than other people in a short little body. And I spent my first 70 years not knowing ... Well, when you're a kid it doesn't matter, but as an adult, just like lower body was always heavier than my upper body, and I always thought it was I don't have willpower, I'm not watching my calories, I'm not doing all these healthy things that I should be doing. Truth is, I was doing all those healthy things, but I was still very heavy on the bottom and not so much on the top. It got worse as I had children, got older, and I just had a lot of self, I don't want to say hatred, but hated my body and, tried everything. It wasn't until during COVID when I moved and I met somebody who I moved into a condo, and everybody kept calling me by this other person's name. They would say, "Hi, so and so." And I would look and I'd go, "Oh no, I'm not that person. I'm me. You know, I just moved in." And they said, "Oh, you look so much like that other person." I finally met the other person walking off the elevator. Yeah. And I looked at her, she looked at me, and I said, "Are you so and so?" And she said, "Yes." And I ... She said, "Are you so and so?" "Yes." And it turned out that we were approximately the same height. Oh, okay. Somewhat the same shape. Yeah. And we were both wearing masks because it was COVID, so people mistook us. Yeah. And we decided we needed to be friends. And she is the person who told me about lipedema. Yeah. Which I had never heard of. Long story short, it's a connective tissue disorder that manifests itself by having disproportionate amounts of fat in all my target areas. My thighs, my butt, my arms. Stuff that I could never get rid of. I had had gastric bypass surgery. Yeah. And even then I lost a great deal of weight in my midsection, but I always considered it a failure because I never lost weight in my thighs, my calves, my arms, my behind. So i- it was very frustrating. And she told me about her diagnosis, and I went to see a specialist who confirmed that, yes, in fact I have lipedema. And for the most part, you cannot diet or exercise away lipedema. Right. Without getting into a whole bunch of information on lipedema that I'm probably not the best person to discuss, I ended up seeing this doctor and then when several of my friends were starting the GLP-1s and I had diabetes. It was very low grade, but it was still diabetes, and I could qualify for medication. I started taking the GLP-1s, and I did see some weight loss, and my friend, this same one, was going to a place, called Exercise Coach. I don't... I know it's in different cities, and it's a 20-minute workout. Yeah. And I thought, "I hate to exercise." I had never, ever liked to exercise, ever, even when I was more fit. Yeah. And I thought, "Well, I should do this because I should do it." And I started going, and it was a love/hate. I hate, hate, hated it. Yeah. But it was 20 minutes, You meet with a trainer who does one-on-one with you, and there's never a class that's more than three people, so you get a lot of one-on-one. Yeah. And I started doing these 20-minute workouts, and I found that in 20 minutes, as hard as I worked and as difficult as it could be- It was a love/hate. I hated going, but I loved the result. Oh. And, I've been going for a little over a year and a half now, and I've seen the size of my thighs reduce. It's never gonna be normal size. Mm-hmm. And I have jiggly skin all over. Mm-hmm. And no matter how much exercise I do, because I'm old, I'm always gonna have jiggly skin unless I do something surgically to remove it, and at 76 I'm not so sure that that's where I wanna be, but I'm healthy. And, you know, I've just seen a result from doing that, and you can do anything for 20 minutes. If I signed up to go to a gym, I know myself, I don't have the discipline. I don't have the, the discipline to say, "Okay, I'm gonna go every single day." Yeah. I go twice a week. Yeah. And in twice a week, I moan and I groan and I complain, and I don't miss a workout because I see the results, and I feel so much better afterward. That's the CliffsNotes of my history. Thank you for sharing all of that. What... So, so many amazing things that you mentioned that I, I wanted to just double back to that lipedema is actually much more common than we realize. It's actually almost 25% of women. And the fact that you were never told that, it, it's, i- it's, it's sad, right? Because your life, you maybe would have thought differently about yourself earlier. I just, it, it- Oh, it cuts into- ... it's hard to hear. Yeah. Yeah. It completely cuts into your self-esteem because I always felt less than. Yeah., Like I should be doing more. What's the matter with me? And it was, it was very self-defeating. It was extremely liberating to find out that none of this was really my fault. Yeah. And it gave me a different perspective on how I felt, how I looked, and how much I was willing to commit to my own health because I could be healthy and still have lipedema. And I could lose weight. I wasn't gonna lose lipedema fat. Right. Could be a healthier version of myself, and it's really been life-changing to find out that none of this was my fault. If you wanna assign blame- If I fault anybody, it was doctors who were never taught about it and just treated- Right ... everything as if it was a personal failure- Yeah because it wasn't. Yeah. So. I think hopefully the awareness nowadays is getting higher. It's definitely 1% of where it needs to be. You know what I mean? It still needs to go higher. But, I think the more that we talk about it and bring attention to this and that people understand, it's very complicated actually with our body. And you mentioned something else that, you didn't wanna do it, but you said, "Okay, you know, you're gonna do the 20-minute class, right? How far in did you get to the place where you're like, "Oh, but I like how I feel after, and I like how this is"? Can you take us through, how it started initially? Because I think people, people think maybe it right away that's gonna start or that they're always gonna hate it. Like, when did that moment happen for you where it flipped, where you had a different relationship with movement? It's really hard to say because... Well, okay, I'm cheap, but I was paying $200 a month, give or take- Yeah ... uh and working with a trainer, but the trainer was very encouraging. And I will moan and groan and whine, and the trainer would laugh along with me. And just, just try to find out what my concerns were and address them to my specific desire to, what I wanted to improve. And I would say the first three months-ish I was just going through the motions. I had signed up. I wanted to make a commitment. I thought, "Well, you have to at least show up to make this commitment." But I found that as I started seeing results, I didn't wanna miss any of the sessions. Number one, they were, I don't wanna say fun- but I was seeing progress, and I liked the people that I met there, and I, I liked being able to say to somebody, "Yes, I work out." Yeah. Because I, I... Those words had never, ever come out of my mouth before. But I, I just found that mentally I felt better. I still hate to exercise, and I still moan and groan, but I see the results, and it's because I see results I don't miss a 20-minute session. And if I do because I'm on vacation or I don't feel well or whatever, I reschedule it be- I don't wanna miss that little bit of exercise that does so much for me. So, yeah. You mentioned, some... i'm hearing, the, your identity change, right? When you're like, that you're making sure to get that done. But h- two things you mentioned, though, how encouraging the trainer was and how they really worked with you, was, like, how you were thinking about it. They weren't like, "Well, be positive about it," right? They're just like, "Okay, yeah," "We get it." Like, you know, "You might not like this." I, I like to think of that as the accountability, right? You knew if I went to the gym by myself it wouldn't happen, but accountability is massive. And then the other thing too, community, the people you're meeting, the, the trainer, like who you're with, how it has such an impact in whether we continue or not because- Yeah ... I don't think it's just that it was a 20-minute class. I think it was of everything coming together, how you're thinking about it, how it was when you're there. Yes, the results are amazing, but if every time you went there it was wretched, you wouldn't continue to, you know, to engage in that way. Oh, absolutely. But some of the equipment there, graphs out your progress. Mm-hmm. So on a daily basis, you can see how much energy you exerted, how much weight you were moving, the time before that, the time before that. And I'm an overachiever, and I always like to feel that I've done even just a little bit more one time compared to the last time. And so I find that I push to do just a little bit more each time. It doesn't always happen. Yeah. But when I can see on a graph in real time the amount of progress that I'm making, you know, your legs get tired, but you know that if you maintain that one bit of pressure for another four or five seconds, you're going to at least make the same amount of progress you did the time before or maybe even a little more. And my goal has always been just do a little bit more than last time. And it doesn't always work But I want it to, and so the next time I just push a little harder. And, I've never been injured there. And I'm not in the world's greatest shape. I'm an old lady, but- But I'm an old- We're not accepting this. You are fit. I am. I'm an old, fit lady. Yeah. And I think that that's not a bad word, place to be. Yeah. So It's a love/hate. I hate the amount of stress it puts on my muscles, I don't like to sweat. And I hate the fact that, oh, I might be breaking a sweat doing this. But I, I just... And my legs feel like Jell-O when I walk out of there, but 10 minutes later I feel good. And I have friends who literally they take a walk and they're falling over. Yeah. Literally falling over. Yeah. And I feel balanced and stable, and I attribute a lot of that to the fact that I'm so much stronger now than I was a year ago with 20 minutes twice a week. Yeah. I will say this: yes, it's 20 minutes twice a week, but there is an aspect of, you have to plan it in your calendar. You have to get there, right? To everyone listening, of course it's more than that al- in, in the long run. But it is so powerful how... I mean, we could spend more time thinking about how we don't wanna do it than actually doing it, right? It's such a, a mind game somewhere, right? Well, well, you know, in, in 74 and a half years I didn't bother doing it. So because, I mean, I thought I would. My intentions were always good. I took a water aerobics class, and I signed up for gyms. And where I live they have an exercise class that meets four days a week, and a bunch of ladies will sit around with their arm weights and- Mm-hmm ... you know, watch a video. And it was all well and good, and it was social, but I didn't really see any progress, and I had no burning desire to go a second time. Yeah. But with this, I feel that for every minute that I spend working out, I get two minutes worth of benefit. I, I just, I feel so much better knowing that I'm doing this on a regular basis, and I know it's crazy- No ... because I still hate to exercise. But- What's occurring to me, though, is that you were willing to experiment 'cause, like, okay, when you're doing the aquatic classes and then you're doing the group class, locally where you live, and then now you're trying this other thing, it's almost like probably actually you led up to this for a long time, if we really think about it, with what you're describing. Sometimes then it hits different when you actually find something like this. Well, because I see results from this, and I never did before it's really just about getting stronger. Mm-hmm. And I'm so much stronger now. I like being strong. Yeah. Before I was worried about being cute. And that's why I would wanna work out. I wanted to be cute. And I, at this point in my life, I'm much more concerned about being strong and being healthy. Yeah. And, I like feeling healthy. I like being able to go to the doctor, and I might stand on the scale and the number is higher than what I want to see. Mm-hmm. But I know that underneath the number on the scale, which is going down, but underneath the number on the scale, I actually have a healthy body. Doesn't always look like it on the outside, but on the inside, I'm strong, and I like that. I love how you describe it because this is always the case. We can never tell, looking at someone, what their health is. Everyone wants to believe that, that you can look and assess someone's health. Um, but I love how you describe the actually being healthy, the feeling good, the feeling strong. I think that is so much more powerful than just looks, 'cause this long-term carries you, how you're feeling and what you're able to do, and just even walking around day to day, right? It's like the, it, or- Yeah. It's really done wonders for my own personal confidence to know that I can do these things. Mm-hmm. And I'm very proud of myself because it's taken me all these years to realize what really matters. And, you know, looking cute aside, I still like to look a little bit cute. But, but it's so much more than that at, at my stage in life, and I think probably in everybody's stage in life, where you have to be physically strong. And if you're physically strong, it helps with your mental health. It just helps in every other aspect of your life. I, I think it's at every stage. I remember... So my son is seven now, but when he was born, the, the carrying... What is it? The little, when you have them in the little, a car seat, right? That is heavy. No one prepares you for the fact that- Right ... br- well, potentially through the first year, however long, I was taking him in and out of daycare. And I, I, I came home one day and I could not get out of the car. My back, like I got a, a back spasm to where there was, like, sciatic pa- I literally could not walk in the house. I, I had to have my husband come out, get the baby, bring him. It was not great, and I realized I'd already been working on my health up to that point. But I realized, I literally can't do the things that I need to do if I'm not stronger. So I think it, it definitely hits all of us at different times, and it would be nice if I didn't have to have a wake up moment like that. But at the end of the day, these things always matter. What would you say to the person that's listening, where they're like, "Yes, I know I wanna be stronger. I know I wanna keep muscle," the world's heard protein and muscle. Like, we've gotten the message, but it's the doing it that's hard. What would you tell that person? If it was a friend next to you talking to you, how would you talk to them about it? Well, I can give you an example of why it's important to people who even, you know, they're not feeling physically ill at the moment, and they're not having body issues at the moment related to their weight or their strength. But my knees were giving out on me, and they were extremely painful, and you learn to tolerate it. You learn to just push through, and you tolerate it. And at one point, I needed knee replacement because I could not go up and down stairs, and I couldn't stand, and it was horrible. And I went to three different, surgeons. One was, one was a sports medicine doctor. The other two were, orthopedic surgeons. Three of them declined to replace my knees, saying that my legs were too heavy. And I was very lucky because I went to a fourth one at a friend's recommendation, and he looked and he said, "Yeah," he said, "Your legs are big." He said, "But it just means you'll need a bigger incision, and it'll take a little longer to heal." Yeah. "But physically, there's no reason why we can't do the surgery." Yeah. And it was once I had my knee done, the first knee, I realized that life would be so much easier, if I could walk without pain. So after the first one, and recovering from it, which was painful, but I was doing physical therapy, and I thought, "Well, I'm doing physical therapy for this. It's just easier to preventatively do the things that make you stronger- Yeah ... so that you end up not needing to have knee replacement surgery." And if I had been in a position earlier to do these kinds of things that would have strengthened my muscles, I might have gone another 10 years before needing knee replacement. You get used to a lot of things. You get used to having physical pain, and you push it to the side. And there comes a point where you realize, "I don't need to have this pain, and I can do things even though I don't like them. They're not impossible." That's what happened after knee surgery. I, I knew I needed another knee surgery and I just wanted the flexibility of movement. Yeah. And doing these workouts has been so helpful to me., And I still, if I were to stop going to this 20 minutes twice a week, I gotta tell you, I would not go to the gym on a regular basis. So I have to do what works for me, and for me, I need the structure of something that's consistent. The knowing ourselves though is very powerful, because I know, for me to stay on track, I always need to be in a coaching program or, you know, working with someone, one on... Like, there, there are, uh, journaling. Like, there's a, a walking in the morning, right? There's a lot, I feel like a lot of maintenance that needs to go in- Mm-hmm ... to, to staying, a different person. It's powerful to, to get to realize that. You brought up something that just makes me really think number one, the getting used to things, wow, is that powerful. Because yeah, we're all sort of w- we just think it's normal at some point how we're living, and we don't know that things can be different. But the other thing that you brought up where, that the power of having a body that can walk, that can do things, like, I think we really take that for granted until something happens, and then if we do need a knee replacement or things like that, we realize, wow, just being able to walk and the fact that I can strength train, things like that, it, it, it, yeah, we stop taking it for granted. It's actually very powerful when our body can work. It's such a pleasure to be able to walk up a curb- Yes ... without having to hold onto something. You know, at some point you start to think this is normal. Yeah. And it isn't normal to, to be so incapacitated by not being physically strong enough to walk up a curb. Mm-hmm. And it makes a huge difference when suddenly, you have quads and they work and they function. I still go up and down stairs two-footed like a toddler. Yeah. But I'm not in pain when I do it. Yeah. That's because, my muscles are stronger now, and they work for me, I can get down on the floor and get back up again. Mm-hmm. I was never able to do that. If I had fallen, which thankfully I didn't, but if I had fallen and ended up on the floor, there's no way I could have gotten up without holding onto furniture and having somebody help me. Yeah. I don't like that kind of dependence. Yeah. I, I like the independence that being stronger has given me. Yeah. So it's all good, and I still hate exercising, but I love doing a workout. It's a mindset. I'm so glad that you came on today because that is what I wanted people to hear is you don't need to like it, but you can like how you feel after. You can like the life that it creates for you, and I just think that you're incredibly inspirational with that, and I think there's gonna be a lot of people that listen to this and I don't have question that they're... We're gonna get emails in weeks or months from now and people are gonna say, "Because I heard that episode, I went and I'm doing it now," because just hearing how it can be done, like you're, you're really showing that. Yeah, I, I mean, it really can, and who knows, you might end up enjoying it. Um, like I s- you know, I laugh. I go in and I strength train with one of the coaches, and we're dying laughing. Yeah. Bec- I am grumbling the whole time, and then I'm saying, "Yeah, let me try that piece of equipment," because, because my calf muscles aren't strong, and my ankles aren't strong, and so I wanna try something new. I mean, that's so not who I grew up being. When I was in elementary school and we would have physical fitness tests, I would do one sit-up. Yeah. And I was very proud of the fact that I would do one sit-up. I didn't really care. Yeah. Yeah. I can do crunches. Yeah. And I still don't love it, but I can do them. If I live another 10 years, they'll be healthier years. And if I live another 20 years, well, you know, I might slow down a little bit. I just intend to keep working out as long as I can physically do it. Yeah. So that's my story. Do you think there's anything else that people need to hear today, even if it's just for other things for health that you have found helpful along the road? I think be less self-critical it's very hard to be self-accepting, but there may be perfectly valid reasons why your shape is the way it is, your build is the way it is. And, if you can be more accepting of yourself, then do it because you have one life. You might as well enjoy it, and if you don't like how your legs look when you go to the pool, go to the damn pool anyway because you deserve to. You deserve to enjoy whatever time you have on the planet. You might as well enjoy it because whether you come back a second time or not, who knows. But as long as you're here this time, make the most of the time you have, and if that means getting stronger, then get stronger. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Thank you for... It's so wise, everything you've said. I just wanna write it all and remind myself- Daily ... daily. Like, just put it on a Post-It Note, thank you for taking the time today to, to talk to us and to, honestly, to help inspire others. I really appreciate you sharing your story. Well, I'm happy to do it. It felt a little awkward 'cause, you know I think everybody's situation is individualized and who knows if what helped me helps somebody else, but everybody's got their story. And, uh, this one's mine, and I'm just happy to keep rewriting it with, getting stronger. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Thank you for having me.