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Have you ever spent thousands on a conference, mastermind, or retreat… only to come home feeling frustrated, disappointed, or just plain ripped off?

We’ve all been there—sinking time, energy, and money into events that promised transformation, only to leave with a stack of business cards and very little else. Sometimes you get lucky and walk away inspired. Other times, you wonder why you even bothered showing up.

But it’s not the venue, the speakers, or even the price tag that determines whether you grow. Two people can attend the same event—one leaves with clarity and direction, the other leaves annoyed and broke. The difference is how you show up and what you do with the experience.

After attending six events together in a single year—some incredible, some downright awful—my business coach Amanda Sabicer and I discovered how to squeeze value out of any growth investment. 

Here’s what we learned about turning even disappointing (or infuriating) events into powerful catalysts for change.

1. Don’t Confuse the Price Tag with the Value

It’s easy to assume that the fancier the hotel or the higher the ticket price, the more you’ll get out of it. But the reality is, a $5,000 mastermind can leave you with less impact than a $50 webinar.

We’ve sat in gorgeous ballrooms surrounded by “big name” speakers and still walked away thinking, that was it? On the flip side, we’ve had quick hallway chats or end-of-day debriefs that shifted our businesses more than three days of programming ever could.

The takeaway: stop outsourcing your results to the event. The magic is in what you do with it.

2. Contrast Brings Clarity

Sometimes the most valuable thing you can get from an event is realizing what isn’t for you.

At one conference, everyone around us seemed obsessed with purses, hot tubs, and showing off their latest buys. It didn’t take long before we realized, these are not our people. And while it was frustrating in the moment, it clarified what we actually wanted to focus on: compassion, health, and meaningful impact—not luxury goods.

Being in the wrong room can be just as powerful as being in the right one, because it shows you who you don’t want to be.

3. Master the Art of Strategic Quitting

Not every conference session deserves your time, but the key is to define what "quitting" means for you. Sometimes it means leaving entirely, other times it means not being so attached to what's happening and focusing on extracting value anyway.

We've sat through events where the stage was dominated by one perspective (think all-white, all-male panels) with advice that didn't resonate with us or the audience. After a couple days of simmering frustration, we made a decision: skip the sessions and create our own value.

But we didn't just walk away—we made strategic choices:

• We turned off our phones and committed to being present
• We committed to taking notes, even though the content wasn't amazing
• We used breaks to review those notes and turn them into discussion points

We spent lunch connecting with other attendees, swapping real stories, and building relationships that turned out to be the highlight of the entire event. The lunch table moment became our whole experience. That wasn't what we planned, but it was 100% what we needed.

Later, we talked to vendors—something we almost skipped. Initially we thought, "we don't want to talk to vendors," but after connecting with those women at lunch, we realized these vendors were there to help us. We had the best time talking to everybody because it became about connection, not sales.

As a physician, it was fascinating what I thought to ask versus what Amanda would ask. She'd say things like, "Who's funding your company? How strong is it?"—questions I'd never think to ask but that are crucial if we're going to use them as vendors.

Walking out of a bad session isn't a failure. It's you taking back control of your experience.

4. Stay Engaged (Even If the Content is “Meh”)

Let’s be honest: after you’ve been to a few events, the content starts to repeat. You’ve heard the same frameworks, the same motivational speeches. It’s tempting to tune out (or, in some cases, do your taxes during a virtual event…guilty…).

But the trick is to show up with a beginner’s mindset. Take notes, ask questions, and use downtime to reflect with someone else. Sometimes it’s not about hearing something brand new—it’s about hearing it at the right time, or in the right way, for it to click.

5. Build in Time to Process

The event doesn’t end when you get on the plane. In fact, the most important part often happens after.

One of the most impactful practices we’ve built is blocking a full day after a conference to process what we learned. Review notes, highlight the “aha” moments, and pick one or two concrete actions to implement.

And sometimes, that reflection happens in silence—on a plane, in a shuttle, or even poolside. The pause is where clarity bubbles up.

6. Let It Get Messy

Growth isn’t always neat. Sometimes a “bad” event triggers anger, frustration, or even tears. But those emotions can actually be the spark for change.

One of my biggest breakthroughs came after crying for hours in a hotel room, feeling like I didn’t belong. Once I let myself process those emotions, I found a new sense of clarity about what I wanted to build and how I wanted to show up in the world.

The lesson? Don’t judge the messy moments. They’re often where transformation begins.

7. One Question That Made Me Rethink My Entire Calendar

We were sitting in yet another conference when Amanda turned to me and asked: "What do you need to invest in this next year to become the next version of yourself?"

It became instantly clear that I needed to drop so many of the conferences I was attending. I needed to pivot 180 degrees. After I left that conference, I changed so many things because I thought about what I needed to invest my time and energy in—and it was not the direction I was going.

You can change direction and reprioritize. Think about which growth opportunities you choose to attend and be disciplined about whether they're helping you become the next version of yourself.

Not every shiny opportunity deserves your attention or your money. Be strategic about where you invest your growth budget and remember that no conference, mastermind, or retreat is going to magically change your life. That’s your job.

The venue, the speakers, the ticket price—they’re just the backdrop. What matters is how you engage, how you process, and how you follow through.

So the next time you’re staring at a disappointing agenda or a room that doesn’t feel like “your people,” remember this: you don’t have to wait for the event to hand you value. You can create it yourself.

Because real transformation isn’t about what’s on stage, it’s about how you show up.

Connect with Amanda:

Website

The Physician Business Podcast

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TRANSCRIPT:

Disclaimer: The transcript below is provided for your convenience and may contain typos, errors, or grammatical inconsistencies, as it has not been professionally edited or proofread. Please enjoy it as-is and read at your own discretion.

Please note: The content shared in this podcast and blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalized medical guidance. 

 Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today we have something really special because I have Amanda Sabicer here with me. Hey, Matea. You know, it's a rarity when we do an episode together in person. In fact, we've never done this before. So this is, this is exciting. However, let me start out.

We're gonna have this on both of our podcasts. So I'm gonna start out introducing myself in case you are listening on Amanda's and don't know who I am. I'm Dr. Matea. I'm a board certified internal medicine and obesity medicine physician. I own and operate the Renta Metabolic Clinic. It's a telehealth obesity medicine practice in Indiana and Illinois.

And I'm the host of the podcast, the Obesity Guide with Matia md. So Amanda, do you wanna tell us a little bit about who you are before we say what we're doing? Sure. I'm Amanda Savier. I'm the host of the Physician Business Podcast, and I help women physicians build and grow their own clinics. Love it.

Okay, so what we're gonna talk about today. We're gonna talk about taking any learning opportunity and getting the max out of it. The reason that we're doing this topic is that Amanda and I, between the, like when we think about the past year, I think we calculated it and we have been at six conferences together.

Whether it be we're laughing, whether it be her conferences, 'cause that included two of them. Whether it be, different retreats and the things that we were attending. But the point is we have become ninjas at going to events, whether they are crappy or not, and getting massive value. I like to think of the conferences like a Capri Sun drink and I just stick a straw in there and I wanna suck it dry.

I'm gonna extract as much value from that conference as I can. What we started to notice is that everyone started to say, oh my gosh, all this stuff happened for you guys after each of these conferences.

And what we realized is it was not the conference. It was what we did. Yeah. I have some bad news for folks. You can pay a lot of money and go to a conference and show up. And be grossly disappointed in what you see when you get there. Oh my gosh, isn't that the truth? It's really disappointing, right?

Because I really think that people believe that if they spend more money on something, that the outcome is gonna be better that can't be further from the truth. I. Yeah. No, it's so ironic because you spend all this money on a flight, all this money in a hotel, probably renting a car, coordinating with other people.

Do you know how many Venmo splits we have on meals? Oh gosh. And calculating all of that later on for business expenses. Yeah, it's a total hassle. It's, it's, it's a nightmare. Well, what's funny is, Amanda coaches me, right? So we did, I was doing my taxes this past year and I calculated what percentage I had spent on self-development.

Amanda's cringing. I needed coaching on the shame that I felt for how much I spent on it. But the reality is, you don't know until you go to these things what's gonna be worth it or not. Something that came up when we were talking about the cost of the conferences, 'cause you and I have spent a lot of money on this over the years. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is at the end of the day. It really is up to us and our brains to make sure that we extract the value.

It's not the money that you spend, and it's gotten to the point where other people ask us how we do it and what happens next. Like, what is going on for us in the conference that we leave? Happy, energized, focused. I mean, how many business plans have we created? Oh, oh, it's endless. Basically, we've gotten to the point where.

We always leave having a new quarterly goal. We leave very focused. And I'm gonna give just a little example here. One of the times we were so busy during the experience, the only time we actually had to do this was, I think I had a flight, I wanna say two hours before years. And actually everybody, Amanda had a flight at a different airport 30 minutes away.

Okay. I'm just giving you reference how this is not easy. So Amanda, I'm a baby, and I said, Hey, can you please come to the airport with me? 'cause I don't wanna do this Uber alone. We can hang out for one hour before then I'll get on my flight and you go over to the other airport. So Amanda's amazing.

And she says, yes, this is why we're friends. And so we're, we're at the airport. I haven't even checked in, obviously, right? Because we're there. We sat there for one hour. We went through, Hey, what are your goals? What are my goals? I hammered it out. That was the most prolific hour. It had nothing to do with the previous three days.

It was that one hour. But you know what that one hour was built on was a commitment to transformation. Yeah. We were like sponges. Yeah. Soaking, soaking, seeking. Uh, yes to that. I'm sorry to cut you off. And we were angry because we had a horrible experience. We had a horrible experience at that conference.

And so through that anger came amazing objective for what, almost through going through a bad experience, we knew what we wanted to create in the world. So we're gonna go through a lot of gems today because we thought this out beforehand, but just know that. Like Amanda said, it's not about the money that you spend, but ultimately you do need to get out of your environment in some capacity, whether it be mindset, whether it be physically, something needs to happen to create a transformation. I don't care if it's you going to a location, if it's you blocking a day off of work to listen to something, but you do need to put in some work and we wanna say what some of those things are that we think are really impactful. Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna take a first stab here. I think one of the most important things, just to build up what you just said, is contrast.

Mm. Mm-hmm. You gotta go to different places and be around different people because it helps you learn new things, of course. But see yourself. Better. Do you remember that one conference when we were so irritated by all the people around us? Ooh, it was, it was, uh, it was so annoying. Wretched. Yeah. Everybody was talking about purses and, hot tubs and, scarves and all the things they wanted to buy.

And all I could think about the whole time was I just don't care about this stuff. What am I doing here? And then I had to ask myself, wait a minute. What am I doing here? Totally. It it really brought out quickly, I don't wanna be like these people. Not in a judgmental way, but in a way of, but here's what actually matters to me. At first I was really angry and me and Amanda would be on these walks. 'cause you know, we, every single day we take a walk and I was just venting and venting and venting and, and then I said, but you know what, it shows me that this is not my community. That these are not my people. That I don't need to pour more energy into this community.

Here's what I wanna build, here's what I wanna be about, and it's not about the things I can afford. It's about compassion for health being hard. It's about knowing that life is hard. It's about supporting people. In those times, it really became very clear. So ironically I said, this is fine, that I'm so angry, kind of day to day here.

It brought out a really good experience. Yeah, I totally, I remember that you were, you really were angry. Yeah, well it was so frustrating, but outta that frustration came clarity. And I think that's such a good reminder is that even though we have invested a bunch of time and energy to go these things it's up to us ultimately to derive the value from the experience.

Yeah, so I think this kind of brings up 0.2, which is you have to take the responsibility to get your value out of it. And can I give this example where we went to a conference and we sort of just decided to cut bait at one point? Oh my God. The lunch thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Just to give you reference, we're at this conference and. I've talked about this before on the podcast. If you listen to mine, I did a 15 minute rant. I felt horrible how we went to this conference, and it was very sort of, man, how do I describe this? Like man focused. Uh, no women in the room. Very, like my wife works for free in the company and that's why I can do what I do.

And I, I don't even, I can't even describe, I'm gonna let you give other words to it. Do you, do you have a better description of it? Like why, how about, how about anger? Anger making, yeah. It was a room full of physicians. Yep. And I'm not a physician. But I'm very passionate about supporting physicians.

Mm-hmm. So I was the only business person in there. I remember that. Mm-hmm. Which was fascinating, number one. And number two, everybody on stage was a white dude. Yes. Again, not only were they all male, but they were all white. And I was like, what is going on? Here are the people who need to be served around the country, all white men.

And all the examples they gave were super. I don't know how to describe it. Super. It's, I mean, again, there's, it's so hard to put words to, it's sort of like a man at the top of the totem pole. And I think what's hard about it is that the audience and who needed this help was not all that. It was not that homogenous.

The point is example after example, after example are being given and they're unaware of how this is sounding. I think that was what struck us. Yes. That's what was so frustrating. They were talking, the examples were things like, it's really when you run your business, it can be costly, the back office stuff.

So why don't you have your wife do the accounting for free? And I remember thinking, wait, wait a minute, what if you are the wife who's working? Where's your wife? Who's gonna do the accounting? And then the other example is how you can churn through people. Oh yeah. Very quickly. Oh yeah. Oh, you're reminding me real quick.

Yeah. And, and I remember sitting there talking to some of the women physicians and they looked at me and they're like, I can't do that. If I blow through appointments the way that these men are talking about it, I'll be seen as cold and heartless and not doing my job. I'll get bad reviews. So there really is deep sexism as.

One would expect, across the board in all industries, but it shows up in different ways. And it was just very apparent in this conference that it was showing up in this way that was totally unaddressed. Yeah. So it was very obvious to us After about two days of this, we were at a boiling point where I didn't wanna sit in the room anymore, let's say the main conference room, let's put it that way.

Basically we got to this point where by day two there was a lunch. And after this lunch we decided, you know what? We're just gonna sit in this room and again, we're gonna hit what are our goals? We're gonna write down quarterly goals. What, you know, we were just like, we're gonna, we're gonna process and think.

And what ended up happening at this lunch is that we had one female physician after another sit at this table and everybody started to share stories of what it was like going through training. Oh my gosh, I'm getting chills. And everybody started to share these experiences and. It was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened.

And then we decided, okay, we're not gonna do this. We're gonna go talk to the vendors. And we had all these different experiences that were not quote unquote, what was on the menu at the conference, but yet I finally felt fulfilled. We got the clarity that we needed. We met the people that we needed, and sort of those, Amanda's described it as collisions.

When you're in person and you meet these people, and I would've never gone to this conference thinking that that's what would happen. By the way, got a really great friend from this. I to this day, still talk to her and I mean, again, we can't say all the details on everything all the time, but, but the point is that was not what I went into that conference with the intention and.

And yet that was a hundred percent what I needed. What did you think? That was a very, very powerful lunch. Remember how we went out for dinner afterwards? Yes. With the same people? Ooh, that was amazing. That was even more amazing. It was just rich, rich relationship building and connection. It was basically like all these the orphaned was the orphaned folks attending the conference who drifted over to our table with no motivation, by the way.

Like we didn't want anything from anyone. It was just purely connection. It's beautiful, frankly. Yeah, it was beautiful. You know the other thing that happened in that conference, which now that you're mentioning the vendors, remember how in the beginning you and I were like, Ooh, we don't wanna talk to the vendors.

We sat at that table and we chatted with those women and then we looked around and we're like, these vendors are here to help us. Yes. It totally pivoted our thoughts about it. Yes. And our perspective. And you and I had the best time talking to everybody. 'cause we be, it became about connection. We learned so much.

And again, not, this is so not what I thought we were gonna talk about, but that's great. That's. Sometimes the best episodes. Yeah, I remember we went and spoke to every single person and I learned so much. Well number one, everybody, you need to have a business person next to you. 'cause as a physician, it was so different what I thought to ask versus Amanda would say, all right, so tell me about.

Basically who's funding your company? How strong is it? She was asking these questions where I was thinking, I would never think to ask this, like, who's behind it and where's the funding coming from? And then I thought, we need to care because if we're using them as a vendor and tomorrow they disappear.

So anyway, my mind was blown. But also just the perspective on it that yes, it's like, what can they do for me? And hearing it in a different way. Yeah it was really powerful and yeah, that was fun to go. Physician plus business person. We were just going back and forth learning so much. This reminds me of one of the other conferences we went to where it was a very different venue. We were not in that corporate setting. Yeah. We, it was much more intimate setting. And how community can go the other way too. Mm-hmm. Where you really don't feel connected to the community.

Oh yeah. Of, even though it's intimate, it was like, what, 20 people? 25? Yeah. It doesn't, the size does not matter. FYI, it's a feeling and it's what's happening in the room that creates that or not and ultimately becomes a decision. So remember that one where we were getting annoyed again because we weren't feeling connected.

And you and I sat down and we made a couple of decisions. And I remember one of them was we had to turn off our phones. Yep. And we committed to being present. Mm-hmm. And we committed to taking notes, even though, by the way, the content wasn't that amazing, but you take notes to, well, in my case at some points, to stay awake 'cause I was getting bored.

But shh, don't tell anybody. Take notes. But then you use, you review those notes in the breaks and at the end of the day and use them as discussion points with somebody else in the group. And we built connection based on that. Yes. Because ultimately, I think also we decided, look, let's get back to beginner's mindset.

I think that's a big thing, right? Because you get to this place, especially if you've done a lot of conferences or you do a lot of self-development work where you really have heard the stuff before, there's nothing really, to be honest, super new that's happening at some point. However, can you reengage yourself?

Can you come at it with a different lens? What can you actually take out of this? So, yes. Continuing to stay engaged. I'll never forget this again, I don't know if this person listens to the podcast, but there was someone at the conference and they're playing video games the entire time on their phone next to me.

And honestly it was really distracting for me. So I had to like turn a different way. But that person can do whatever they do. And again, I don't ever know anyone's scenario. Some people are neurodivergent and actually helps them to focus that's on you. Okay. But for me personally. I have had to get into the habit of turning the phone off, like turning it down, putting it away, because otherwise it's a real choice to not engage when you're there and to continue to stay in another world.

But you are present here in this room. one of the big, moments here, even if you're doing a virtual conference at home. Turn off your notifications, tell people you're not available, do not answer emails. This is not a time to do those other things. I'm gonna give an example on the flip side.

This is not one that we attended together, but you know, there's like a million things I do a year. So, so I was attending something, and again, and I know we're saying a lot of negative experiences, but we'll say there's a lot of positive ones coming up here, but I, I sat there and did my taxes and you know what I said, that's garbage.

Like there was, I should have just logged off. There was no reason to be sitting there on a virtual thing pretending to listen when I was doing something else. Really being present with what is there I think can be incredibly helpful. I think it's a good, a reminder that you have to give yourself permission to quit.

Yes. And you have to define like, what does quit mean? Right? Like in that case, you are gonna just go do something else, versus other times you're like, I'm just gonna not be so attached to what this person's saying right now, but it's my job to extract the value. So I think the bottom line is. At the end of the day, we are all individually responsible for our own experiences and life.

You know, we go to these conferences and we show up the best we can. People are, I believe people are doing the best they can to create these hundred percent. I mean, it's so much work, so much work, so much respect for the people who put 'em on. And it's really easy to judge. And so I think a big flip for us was get out of judgment mode and get into learning mode.

That is the big thing. And you know, how we know when we do that successfully is afterwards. Yeah. You wanna talk about that? Yeah. So one of the big things that we always do afterward, I, or I'll say me personally, I literally have a day blocked on the other end.

And I will take the time to go through the notes to be thinking, to reviewing, to physically go through that and write out, okay, what are the one or two action steps I'm gonna take? Or the one thing that I'm going to. Continue to go forward with, because most of these things are about three, four days.

By the time you have travel in there, usually they're, you're leaving like a Thursday night, you're coming back on a Sunday night or Monday morning, things like that. So there's that time. But another thing I just wanna say, with the digestion part, a lot of the times there's, it's a big travel day involved on the, on both ends, right?

And coming back, it is very common that I will listen to absolutely nothing. I wanna give an example from one, just about two years ago I went to a conference. It was great and. I leave this conference. I wanna say Sunday at like noon. Yeah. 'cause we had lunch and then I left. There was a two hour shuttle from where the resort was to get to Vegas airport.

I was in silence there. I just sat in silence, looked at the mountains. Then I have two layovers of course, because nothing's direct back to Indy, and I didn't listen to anything. At one point. It's pitch black in the plane. The point is I was thinking the entire time about it. It was this massive. Digestion and processing and thinking, and I wanna tell you something.

After that, I had the biggest leap both in my life, health wise and business wise. And it wasn't even what they said. It was how I processed it and that I gave myself fully. That time, that conference, I wept my eyes out in the middle of it I knew no one when I went there, it was a rather intimate group.

And, one day in I'm there. I'm just crying and crying and crying in my hotel room. I don't think I've ever told these stories. This is good. And at one point I talked to a friend that couldn't come because this person had a surgery. Emergently couldn't come. And she says, what are you complaining about?

You're in a beautiful location. Get outta your hotel room and go enjoy. And I. I stopped crying. I went to the pool. I decided, I don't care if no one's talking to me or what's happening, I can enjoy this time. I, I've never had a bigger moment. And so this is the thing I wanna really.

Really get down to here. 'cause I don't wanna get lost in the details with this. With this really digesting things. It's never about the experience. You can turn it around at any moment. It's actually not a bad thing If you cry, it's not a bad thing. If you feel you don't fit in, do not go down victim mode.

Like yes, let yourself process the emotion. Honestly, I think I processed what I probably for years had not cried about. I mean, seriously, it was about three hours of crying. It was great. Okay. We let it out and then I moved on. It was not a victim experience. And in fact, the host of that retreat I talked to maybe six months later, and they had no idea anything that had happened.

And I said, but this was a good thing. This was not about you. This was not about whatever. I needed to go through that, like that. That was a good experience, and I think it's only because. I've always had this thought of Amanda's, in my mind, it's my job to get the value here. And so allowing the emotion to pass through, not staying in victim mentality, taking time to just sit with myself and process on the backend.

And then also developing the practice of always blocking the day after, which is painful because in business you just wanna get right back to it. The problem is this reintegration. When you get back from something, it's wicked. It is wicked tough, right? Because you've been really like elevated and you've been really motivated and you're in this different zone and then you come back to the hard true facts of the world and you need time to land the plane, you need that time.

Golly, I couldn't have said it better. Mateo. I totally agree. I think it's I think it's kind of a win-win. You cry. Yes. You know? 'cause on the other side is so much clarity. I cry a lot though. And she's proud of it. No, it's a, it's a thing because it's all these emotions bubbled up. Listen, you have things going on throughout your life throughout the year and it comes to a head.

When you pause your life and take a breath, right? Yes. Do you know in my role as hr, we used to joke about how, we were always like, okay, how many people are gonna come in and quit their jobs in January after taking off two weeks for the holidays? You told me that and I never knew that.

You're like, yes, it's January when it happens. 'cause people have had a moment. Yeah, it's totally important. The pause is. So critical, but within the pause, letting yourself have all the feelings and the emotions that come up. On the other side is clarity. Yes. And that's the bottom line. And when you're running a business or you're looking to improve your health, you need clarity.

So you, we have to put ourselves in these positions that are uncomfortable, be willing to do it. To be able to earn that clarity. Ooh, you said something good. The willing to earn it, because I want to, give just a moment here. I run these 30, 30 programs,? So they're, anyone that's listening that doesn't know there's small group coaching programs and it is hard for people to share on the calls.

I wanna honor anyone that's listening to this that's in my group, has been in my groups, things like that. It is really hard in a small group to unmute your freaking mic and speak up. Oh God. Yeah. To talk, right, to talk about the, I just wanna say not only the sharing is hard.

'cause I mean, I literally get a racing heart when I'm in a group, and I'm not even like a nervous person, but to share that, not only to. Be willing to speak up with what's going on, good or bad. Because also there is, people feel bad for sharing good things too. There's no winning.

Okay, hear me people, there's no winning. But the post vulnerability hangover, oh my gosh, what Brene Brown talks about where later you're just beating yourself up. You're thinking, I sounded so stupid. Why did I share that? Why did I, whatever. That is so hard. But can I tell you that those are the people where.

I see them round to round, the transformation is insane. And they'll say, you know, that first round was about this and then this round was about that, because they're willing to go through it. Yeah, and, and it's hard because I think the statistics are about one out of 10 people only speak up. And listen, I'm introverted.

I don't like to speak up, so this is why I feel I'm the best person to talk about it. But the reality is you have to be willing to go through these things. Like you don't get to the other side. You stay on that side of the river if you're not willing to do it well, and part of the problem is you're stuck in judgment.

I. Yes. And then me, and it gets into, just like when you go to a conference, if you're judging how everything's set up, I don't like it. I don't like the food. I'm sitting too long, the speaker isn't great, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everything is externally focused and you're taking no accountability for yourself.

And when you're in a group like yours, like that 30, 30 program, which what one of the things that makes it so phenomenal is it's an invitation for everybody to drop the judgment and to start showing up and sharing. And on the other side of that is all this. Again, clarity. A hundred percent. I was talking to Amanda before I ever did the 30 30 group, and we were literally talking about, okay, how do I start the first call?

And one of the things that we talked about is that I said, look, if someone's triggering you, you need to think about what's coming up in me that this is happening. Because it's never about the other person, it's about you. That is more helpful than thinking, oh, this was a bad call or whatever.

Because some days the stars hit right? And it's really great, and other days it's a different energy, but it's all valid. We're going down a different rabbit hole, but I notice some days everyone's really down and we need that. We need that day when everyone's in the pits of things.

And then there's days when everyone's sharing the most amazing wins. I didn't know were possible collectively. And that's phenomenal too, but that's not reality to always be in this. Hi. Hi. Hi. You know, like we've just, the conference that we're attending right now, uh, there is a, a. John Maxwell gave the talk, right?

What is it? Everything worthwhile is uphill. Mm-hmm. And I, I'm gonna, do you, you might have already heard the episode or not, depending on when I air it, 'cause I'm gonna do a whole talk based on that. But this whole concept of Yeah. Things that are really worth having, life's always hard the end. Mm-hmm. And once you accept that, it makes the journey easier

one thing I wanna pivot to though is also talking about how. So when you're going to, these conferences expect usually one or two gems and the rest to just be tolerable because there's usually a few speakers, there's a few good talks. It just can't always all be amazing and that's okay. It actually doesn't need to be at the end of the day.

Can our, our brains are puny, right? Yes. I remember like two things a day. I've got the brain of a squirrel, so it doesn't need to be amazing. You just need to write it down. And then once in a while you go back to your notes. That's why you write your notes down, you summarize things, and then you find somebody to talk to about it.

Because as you discuss it again, you reabsorb it, but if you revisit a few months later, you're like, it's a brand new thought, like as if it never happened. Totally. Totally. One of the things I know that we like to do, 'cause we're in a little bit of a larger friend circle, and we will get on Marco Polo and go over our notes.

We actually do this for everything. If I'm attending things like I attended a virtual social media conference and I was like, listen, this was great, and that was great. And, you summarize it because you learn more. You learn by sharing it, it solidifies it a little bit more. Finding people that you can reflect with, whether it be in a group setting, whether it be a friend you can talk to, I think that connection is really important. Not only live at the conferences, but after. Totally. Just be aware that sometimes if your spouse hasn't gone to the, to the conference, I'm glad we're talking about this. Don't expect your spouse to pick up all the threads, okay? Just give them a break if you have a partner in your life.

Anyway. All right. Listen, I think. I think we've covered a lot. we've really talked about learning opportunities. It's an investment. If you wanna transform, you have to invest in yourself, and that requires time and money and focus and willingness to drop the judgment and stay in beginner's mindset.

Ultimately we're trying to get everybody to expand into a new realm of possibility that because of our past histories and experiences we just didn't think was possible. And we have to as folks walking along the journey with them, we have to embody that ourselves so that we can better serve our clients and patients.

Do you think that there's anything that we didn't address that's still critical for someone to know? Or do you think we hit every single point? I think you need to think about investments like this, like in conferences and growth and learning opportunities as thinking about which ones you choose to attend and being disciplined about, is that helping you become the next version of yourself?

Oh, that's good. I'm so glad I asked this last question. I'm gonna give a little example here. We were at again, another conference, and Amanda said, what do you need to invest in this next year to become the next version of yourself? Everybody listening? It became instantly clear that I needed to drop so many of the conferences I was attending.

I needed to pivot in a 180 direction, and if I tell you that after I left that conference, I changed so many things, right? You had whiplash when you hurt. You're like, you did what? Because I did so many changes because I thought about what did I need to invest my time, my energy, all of it. And it was not the direction I was going.

So you can change direction, you can reprioritize. But yeah, I think this has been a really good conversation. I'm glad we that we talked about this Me too. All right, well subscribe to both of our podcasts. We'll have the links in the show notes, and if you have questions, let us know in the fan mail section.

All right, bye.